Day 6 and all is well!

I can hardly believe that it's been almost a whole week on the Whole30! I'm struggling a lot with keeping my kitchen clean and workable. There is SO MUCH COOKING involved. I mean everything is made from scratch...EVERYTHING! Mayonnaise, bbq sauce, ketchup, every condiment. I also have to cook every meal, so there never seems to be a finish line. I feel tethered to my kitchen, really!

Besides all that, the actual cleanse is going great! On Day 4 I woke up with out the foggy brain. I was driving to work out and everything was so much clearer! I was very dizzy during my workout the other day, but that is because I am dehydrated. So more water for me. My skin looks great. It is clearing up very nicely. I think I'm down about 5 lbs.

The family is doing well with the whole30. The boys and Jon have liked everything I've made so far. Jacob is complaining that he is hungry all the time. I told him that's his own fault. There is plenty of food to eat. He's just not taking the responsibility.

I was convinced by Megan to go and buy a good knife, after I was complaining about how hard sweet potatoes are to cut. So I bit the bullet and bought a really nice knife and the difference is amazing! I have made a vow to save up and buy a couple different sized knives and get rid of the rest of the crap in my knife block!

Day 5:
Breakfast: 2 left over egg muffins
lunch: Bacon, scrambled eggs, salad with Nicole's Awesome sauce (yep, I named that!)
Dinner: meatza! Beef/Pork "crust", marinara sauch, bacon, onion, garlic, peppers, spinach

Day 6:
Breakfast: broccoli slaw, two fried eggs, Nicole's Awesome sauce
Lunch: Nicole Meal: Beef chili without beans, greens and plantains
Dinner: Crockpot spare ribs with home made bbq sauce, salad

Day 4!

Day four is just about over and I'm feeling pretty good. I'm having some detox symptoms, which is normal, especially after my two month bender. I have specifically had the following symptoms: lethargy bordering on freaking narcolepsy, brain fog, mild headaches (goodbye caffeine), muscle aches, mild cold symptoms (day 2 and 3), irritability (sorry everyone around me), weakness, and constipation (TMI). I haven't been drinking enough water, which is probably part of the problem. I need to flush all the crap out of my system.

I wanted to make sure to blog about the types of foods I'm cooking during the whole 30 for a couple of reasons: One, I want to people to know what paleo food looks like and how I'm feeding the whole family and Two, I can NEVER remember the things I make and I want a record of it. I have the worst memory ever.

Day 1:
Breakfast: everybody was sleeping
Lunch: scrambled eggs and bacon
Dinner: left over zucchini and eggplant "ricotta" lasagna

Day 2:
Breakfast: scrambled eggs, bacon, sweet potato hash browns
Lunch: raw red pepper halves topped with guacamole and turkey and grapes
Dinner: Enchilada stew

Day 3:
Breakfast: egg muffins (I doubled the recipe)
lunch: Boys wanted the same lunch as the day before. I think we decided to coin this particular meal the Turkpepamole. Yeah, we did that. I also sent apples and almond butter.
Dinner: I took an emergency trip to the beach and packed myself turkey, grapes, apples with almond butter and almonds. Jon cooked the kids steak and broccoli.

Day 4:
Breakfast: Left over egg muffins
Lunch: Mini meatloves with veggies
Dinner: left over enchilada stew

Whole 30 or Penance for the last two months

Happy 2013! I am so excited for the growth that is going to happen this year. I feel a huge shift waiting for me. I have changed so much over the last year and am finally participating in life, rather than letting life happen to me. I'm taking charge of my health and actively seeking healing. This year is going to involve a lot of healing and letting go, as well as learning and having FUN!

In the title I said, "penance". I don't really mean that. I have drastically changed the way I eat and lately have been moving more and more towards a paleo lifestyle. I love the way I feel, perform and I love that my face looks amazing when I eat this way. With that said, in November things took a turn for the worst. My uncle got sick and I got out of my routine and was eating hospital food, which is so unhealthy BTW! (How could a hospital not have gluten free food?!?!) Then I got really sick and had to take antibiotics and steroids, never a good combo for me. Throw in a back and hip injury and it was just down right disasterous! Then it was Christmas and I just let myself eat what I wanted. I didn't punish myself. Everything I ate, I enjoyed. However, now I feel like CRAP! My face is broken out. I gained like 10 lbs. I'm bloated and I just overall feel gross. This leads me to the Whole 30.

What is it? It is basically eating strict paleo (No gluten, no grains, no dairy) for 30 days with no sugar. No Paleo-fying foods either (paleo cupcakes, paleo pizza, etc.), or No Sex With Your Pants On as the whole9 creators like to say! This is a natural detox for your body. I am on day two and starting to deal with some detox symptoms already, but all is well. I know this is GOOD for my body.

The best part about this Whole 30 is that my whole gym is doing it. I have as much support as I could ever need! It is exciting to do this as a group. I love the camaraderie, the recipe sharing, the togetherness, the community!

I forgot to mention my whole family is doing it too. I'm hoping Jon will see a difference in his cholesterol levels, the boys will notice a decrease in their adhd symptoms and their complexions will improve. I've had some opposition, but I'm hoping to make it fun and exciting.

Reach out before it's too late!

Over the last few months, I have struggled...a lot. The more I struggled, the more I beat myself up. The more I beat myself up, the more I separated myself from others. Once I get in shut down mode, everything goes to hell and I suffer alone. What keeps me from reaching out? Two things. Shame and it's horrible sidekick Pride.

While I was shutting down, I also sensed a general silence among some of my friends. Once contact was made, I found out that they had also been struggling. I am willing to bet that shame and pride were the culprits in their silence as well.

Here's the rub. I know in my heart that if I would have reached out, there would have been plenty of people to encourage me and kick me in the butt. Just like I would be there for my friends in their time of need. I know that I always feel like I don't want to bother people, that maybe I'm not important enough to interrupt someone's daily life to ask for help. I feel ashamed for struggling with the same things over and over and over again. I feel embarrassed because I am a trainer and am still overweight, my pride stops me from reaching out.

Here is my question to you out there struggling. What would you do if someone contacted you and needed some encouragement? You would encourage them! What if someone needed help? You would help them if you could! That makes you a good friend. And doesn't that stand to reason that someone would be willing to do the same for you?!?!

Let's take a leap of faith here and start reaching out. Let's seek help before we start sliding down that slippery slope that ultimately leads to shame and isolation! You're important and a friend is out there ready to help, you just have to ask!

Adventures in Cleansing: No Brownie Points for Me!

I think it was the second day into my cleanse and I was doing fine, until I realized I had to prepare baked goods for Jon's care package. I was going to make homemade chocolate chip cookies and Ghirardelli triple chocolate brownies. When I thought about what was going to happen and what I was going to have to do, I panicked!

Let me tell you how much I love chocolate chip cookie dough and fresh out of the oven, burn your tongue hot, gooey cookies. Devine! What I love even more than that is brownie batter. I love it more than the brownies themselves. I love the chocolate chunks. I love the smell. Most of all I love the grittiness of the batter. I used to buy brownie mix and combine it with a little water and just eat that in a bowl. Embarrassing, but true.

So, when I tell you I was panicking, I really mean I WAS PANICKING. How was I going to get through this process without caving in? I kept telling myself that I could do it, but knowing in my heart that I couldn't. I was close to tears and full of self-loathing. Why was this so hard? Why can't I do something so seemingly easy? Am I crazy for struggling this hard over FOOD?!? Questions turned to accusations. You KNOW you can't do this, so stop trying. How stupid are you that you are letting food BEAT you. You will never get through this cleanse. You are going to fail, AGAIN! You will never be in control, EVER!

Well, from there, things began to change. I knew I was going to fail, so in came the justification. What if I'm allergic to gluten? I'll never get to have brownies and cookies again. Why not indulge a little for old times sake? Let's have a good bye party! It's not bad if this is the last time I'm ever going to eat this stuff, right? So, I gave in and gave my self permission to partake. SIGH

I am getting emotional while I write this. I am sad, because of the way I treated myself. I'm mad that I let this become such a HUGE issue. I knew it was because of the cleanse, because normally I don't deprive myself. I know how I am. If I'm craving something, I need to have it or I will eat out of control trying to satisfy it in other ways. Just thinking of how much mental energy I spent that day makes me exhausted.

I learned from this experience though. I learned that I can't have that stuff around me and expect to NOT indulge if I'm not fully in control (which I obviously wasn't). I learned that I don't have to make that stuff for Jon. This time, I asked my friend to make him healthy snacks for his care package. I learned how horrible I talk to myself. That's NOT ok. I need to work on that. Most importantly, I learned that partaking in the chocolate goodness didn't kill me and it sure wasn't the end of the world.

Adventures in Cleansing: Reset button!

So I decided to do another cleanse the end of July. I had just got back from California, where I ate horribly. Over the past few months my weight had crept back up to 213lbs! I was not in a good place mentally and felt very out of control with my eating. Phycially, I also felt gross. My poor body was wondering what in the hell I was trying to do to it by stuffing it with CRAPPY food. I really just needed a way to refocus and reboot.

The cleanse was a milder version of the one I did in January. It included two smoothies a day plus one meal that included lean protein and veggies and a salad. You could also have two eggs and veggies throughout the day. Basically, no dairy, gluten, or sugar. I also drank my water with unsweetened cranberry juice, which was NASTY, but did seem to get rid of some of my cellulite.

The same day I started this cleanse, I also went to get tested for food allergies. I would also recieve the results the same day I ended the cleanse. I figured that was perfect and I would add or delete things from my diet based on my results.

I learned so much from this two week experience. I lost eight lbs and lots of inches. I regained some focus and gained control. I am looking forward to sharing this experience with you! Again, stay tuned...

Moby Dick

Call Me Shannon. Sorry, couldn’t resist. I have been promising myself that I would blog for a while now and I just couldn’t make myself do it. Any sense of an internal struggle and my mind goes into shut down mode. Yesterday, I was asked on a form how I deal with stress, and I replied, “Avoidance and Denial!” Probably NOT the answer she was looking for, but it was the honest to goodness truth. While that has served me well in the past, it’s time for a new strategy!

I was talking to my fabulous trainer, Megan, a while back and I told her I wanted to amp up my workouts. I wasn’t feeling happy with my fitness level and I’m still overweight.  She asked me how my food was going and I wanted to lie and say it was awesome and totally dialed in, but I couldn’t. It Sucks! My food intake SUUUUUCKS! Well, Megs just flat out told me that she wasn’t going to give me any kind of extra workouts, because it was a waste of both of our time (Um, OUCH! Truth hurts!). I can exercise until the cows come home, but if my food isn’t where it’s supposed to be it doesn’t do me any good (of course, it’s beneficial in other ways, just not for weight loss). I know this! Why is it so freaking hard?

Megan was correct when she said that food is my Moby Dick. I have gotten stronger and my fitness level has improved, but in all the time we’ve worked together, I have NEVER conquered the FOOD! I go through periods when I’m on the money and then something always happens. What is that something? Not enough preparation? Not making time for myself? Stress? Emotional Eating? Yes, all of that.

I’m not going to let this beat me anymore! So how am I going to change this situation? I am attacking this holistically. I am going to spend time improving all areas of my life, actually tuning in and dealing with the issues. It is time to harpoon this stupid whale! Stay tuned…